Friday, October 17, 2008 @ 6:45 PM
sick and tired of problems.
maths paper was superduper difficult. some of the question i get to answer it. but another half im confused. i 100% sure that my maths paper fail-ed. urgh ! stresss. i just cant concentrate on my paper, i keep on thinking of others thing. hw stupid liya would be ? arghhh ! regrett-ed.!
after paper , me and mira suppose to see ms shang , we search her at the stuff room but she not in. so mira decided to go home . zahari,haikal & hakim went to pp to have their breakfast. zahari ask me to tag along but i swear i've no mood. yet i walk-ed home with hanif. saw hazri,apek,fidi & apit under hazel block and i know i should be far away from them. i didnt even see them and walk-ed off. its great to see those THREE bestfriend together back , without me by their side. thats the reason why i wanna let them far away from me. coz i feel that im the cause that you three cant spend tyme with each other. hanif ask me why on earth i never wait for fidi & others, but i just reply "nothing" hanif ask whther i fought with them. i repli-ed i dont know. im in a rush to go home that tyme. i've no mood to talk-ed to anyone. i need space. so i quickly walked off with hanif so i can be home on tyme. but then boipekk called out my name from behind. i refuse to turn behind , but i did, coz i know im okay with boipekk. he asked me those kind of stuff about why i treat fidi like that and more. i know he know how i feel. yet , he share his problem at me too. i try to fix-ed those problems, but its complicated. relax kay bestie ?;D
after step into the house , i dun know what i wanna do. big & small sis still sleeping. yet i seat alone at the living room. i think back, its better if i release my stress by karoeke by my own. i search for those jiwang songs and sing. awww, i shout by myself & all. tears drop on my cheeks, still i enjoy-ed myself by singing to let my stress out. those songs i sing were totally have a meaning to my life. god, am i useless ? hais. big & small sis walk towards me and saw me crying. they ask-ed me why and i reply, "stress out." haisssss. my big sis join in singing with me. and i totally had fun.
at 12, my big sis went out to play bowling with her friend. and i know, bowling is a game where people always let his/her stress gone. and why im so stupid that i dun think of gg to bowling ? why must i go to the sea and cry out loud ? i should go bowling and play with my friends. i still remember, when im with syafi he msg me "u tau main bowling ? i main bowling asik masuk longkang jek" and i laugh out loud. i reply him back that i can teach hym. but yet he reply "tknk uhh. uat paiseyy jek. nanty u ajar, still masuk longkang , u ketawe kan." HAHA. i were like LOL. i still remember too that i wanna teached hym play bowling and he yet wanna teached me play soccer. but then, its over now.): nvm. let bygones be bygones. idk if i have a future now.
at 5, i online my msn , read fidi pm and i were like "WTH ?" so i just let hym cool down by not chatting up with hym. i've know that ive no rights to stopped hym from doing what he want. if i did, he obviously wont listen-ed to me anymore. and now , i know i cant control hym. thats what he want rite ? ikaliao and banana cht with me about fidi and all. im stress up. why must fidi problems or others problem people should complaining to me ferst ? haissss. ikaliao cry because of fidi. banana stress because of fidi too. so i wanna let things out and at last we coversation and i try talked to fidi but then, he chat with me like not the fidi i've known. wheres the fidi that ive known ? haisss. i agreee with ikaliao , i hate the new fidi now. is it because of me fidi change ? and is it because of me fidi stress up ? im wondering . if its really because of me , i swear i will leave hym alone , forever. okay fidi ?
after that chatting , fidi offline and called me . i dun wanna pick-ed but i did. i tot he wanna let things out and wanna say sorrry but then im wrong. yet he scoled me like no body business. he asked me to tell ikaliao and banana not to get involved in his problem. why must i ? why must im the one who should pass things and message around ? cant you just call either one of them and talked ? why must i be the center person ? and you talk to me like all the blame cause by me. is it ? haissss.
at 9 pm, big sis friends came for jalan raya. all matreps. one asked for my number and you know what ? i smile and walk-ed back in my sisters room. im thinking of fidi. alright ? if i give my number , what did fidi think of me ? still tot that i've keep many guys ? hais.
& tmrw, am i gonna have fun gg raya with 149 peeps ? am i gonna be smiling ? coz i aint. because of those misunderstanding between me and hym, i feel that im useless. am i hurting every boys who wanna be with me now? haissss. i scared to be fall in love again . ayu,ejal,apek & zyzy, make me smile tmrw can? preety please ? ):
i stressssssss. why problems come and go?
