guys, do you ever feel like someone not be beside you again ? its me. seens a long ago you walked away & i feel so alone. i still remember what your promises,maybe im the one who blind to see, that you really did change. what i did to make you turn away? if i could just find a way,i need you right here, right now. i try to forget you out of my mind. i try to be strong. you're gone,forever. & i promise that i accept the fact that you're gone.
if something that i could do,would you please let me know? maybe i can change my everything. so you could be with me. now im try to hang around ,take something to do, so i could be easily forget you. & i know deep from my heart saying "you dont love me back." i knw you never see mye cry. my life now is no good & i know something was wrong,is all about you. next thing i know that i would back to my own way coz everything i wanted for is gone. i lose you just like that. idk why its so hard to let my life go on. you drive me crazy with all those memories.
im here, thinking of you & the day we use to share. its driving me crazy & idk what to do. im just wondering if you still care. i just wanna let you know that i missing you.boyy , why you leave me all alone?
love,it can make you smile for the rest of your life. but it can also make you cry for the rest of your life. i will be contented, even w 2 hours tears alone,or even more hours, just thinking of you. to forget you,that is the most impossible thing to do. my love memories w you can never be wiped off.every single detail in life reflects u. to forget you, what i have to do is not to remember you. not to remember that we once kissed. not to remember that you bought me that shirt. have i forgotten you boy?
when i tried to forget you, i had just thought of you again. are you thinking of me now, as my mine revloves w ur image,again &again? the pain i feel is not the seperation,the pain is the love that we share. the pain is that we are still much in love, yet we have to go so quickly. only someone who had experienced this before will understand.
everytyme you smile,that smile used to melt my heart. if both of us are to cry, i want to be the one who cries louder, i want to be the one who takes a longer time to recover. i want to absorb all the sadness from you.
the utmost pain in this world is not breaking up with you, it is remembering the love that we once shared. yet there is no chance to revive this love again. i dont remember the tears, i only remember the pain. i had always defied your words, & i will do it 1 more tyme & hopefully, a million more times. i just want to tell you, hows much i love you. but if one day , if i ever go for other guy, remember that i will always know you're the best ex i had before.
i have decided to write so that i would not forget our memories. i think of you everyday, i want to see you every single second, i want to make you smile every minute, i want to make you laugh. i just cannot go my feelings, i guess so.-.-
have you people ever cried so much,so sad that your hearts starts to emit physical pain as well,like your heart is shedding tears? i had , because that was the first time i experienced that pain. i still remember the date we've brokeup. you should know why i cried, for that day was one of the most painful day of my life.
i remember my self smiling & sometymes laughing whenever i read your msgs. what if i stop loving you? that was when i realized my love for you wont stop. every step a testimonial that the promises you once made were just nothing but words. whenever i saw you,im doing nothing but loving you. & is somehow a sad love song hummed into my ears, my tears would drop. my only way to cool myself was to smoke.
do you remember the moment when i leaned my head on you? haish. now im started to ask myself, whats wrong w me ? why am i feeling this way now?
i had not felt this depressed, maybe i have fallen too deeply in love w you? i was trying to forget you,you know? i will not forget this day,17th nov 2008, the day you asked for a patch. i still imagining you hugging me,showering me w sweet werds. it hurt alot by remembering it, you know ? i always whisper by myself & say "fight for it girl,if you really love hym, fight for your feelings. no point sitting here, crying & crying."
were you able to sense my sadness? its was very painful to see the person you love so much doesnt care. trust me, anyone who had been though this will understand this kind of pain. sometymes, people say , tymes will heal. but for me, only you can heal me. this particular day, i always smiled the broadest & cried the hardest, do you know that ? i realised how much ily & what pain really feels like. you know, i will continue to love you till the end of tyme. i just want a chance, a chance to hold your hand again. do you know it feels to smile gleefully & cry sorrowfully at the same tyme? all i could think of was you. the tyme we spent together, the days we chatted. should i give up on you ? it was hard. i tot i could forget you easily, concentrate on my studies, but how can i forget you, when everything reminds me of you?
do you know how much it hurts when you walk away? what matter most is not how long the love will last,or how much longer the love will continue. what matter most is how deep is we once shared, they've turned in to black ashes.
liya , dont forget hym , just dont remember hym. take away anything that reminds you of hym. his pic in your hp. his photo in your com. the gifts that he gave you. you never forget the true love, you just dont remember. you know , i wonder now , i wonder always if you are still keep the ring or at least hanging it on your neck now ? i know you wont. or maybe you just throw it away eh.everytyme i wanted to msg you , i think back for the 2nd tyme, i did not know how you would react after receiving my mxg & i did not even know you would reply.
maybe all good things come to an end eventually. why do we only start to cherish something when we start to lose it ? do you know that i feel so much to hug you now, to tell you how much ily. i had wanted to give up long ago, but today , i imagined how life would be without you. i still remembering the love that we both shared once. how can i ever give up on you when memories still rolling in my head,screwing a nail in my heart? as i cry now, can you feel my tears ?
i cannot really describe the feeling, everywhere i go, even when there were friends around me,chatting with me,laughing with me,i still felt lonely, like something was missing. how can memories be deleted ?
god , if you're up there, give me a sign. i just want hym to smile, nothing else. you can take my life, you can put the most painful pain inside me, but what i want is to see hym smile, can ? ):
now , this is the last post for you, i wont disturb you life anymore because i believe i can move on. i will slowly,gently, leave your world, leave our memories last tyme. the love that i have for you is complete with memories and i will give up now. i will not wait for your return.i will forget the love we have once. goodbye , boy.