The past. (:

Monday, April 20, 2009 @ 8:18 PM

i dont have a mood to go to school actually , but since we have NAPFA today , i decided to force myself to school. as usual , meet mira & others in the morning. i was not in the mood to say anything. yes , i act happy infront of my friends. hmmmm. arrive at school, we have P.E. do nothing and set up those 5 station for NAPFA later. then we have our MT follow by ebs. as usual , coursework ! coursework ! coursework ! recess tyme , i decided not to eat but mira treat me food. thnks love. haish. english tyme, continue watching this movie called "freedom writer." i guess ? then we have our CPA, bored ! hmmmm. school life sucks lahh. i try to be happy kay people , even i cant. ): after school , waited till 2.45pm then headed off to the hall and do our NAPFA. yes , i pass all the 5 stations. hehe. & also , my 2.4 run i also get position B. hehe ! at last , i finished all those thingy. & i dun need to do it again.
after NAPFA, ayu & haikal accompany home & i get changed quickly , then we go to the usual roofgarden and slack with huda,zahari,catmeow,athira,danial,atyqa,kiki,ihsan,bayi,faiz,apek,asep,

ahkai,apit,jasman,haikal &ayu.
i didnt talk much as i dont have a mood to laugh like usually i did. hmmmm. thats all for today lah okay ?

btw guys , do you ever feel like you losing somebody ? i feel that right now. i feel so stupid to have a life like this. why my life full of complicated life ? why cant i just be happy like other people. im single ? im attached ? idk. all i knw that everything ends yesterday like for so sudden. im nt a gd gf. i hurt guys out there randomly. why ? why i be like this ? i dont know who's fault. all i knw , i hate people controlling my life. i cant bare to lose hym. but see ? everything end just like that. why ? tell me ? i dont wanna cry again, just because of A guy. ): but how must i defend myself not to look at hym in school and be happy ? why cant we just be friends ? i miss the old us, the old us when we're very close to each other like a brother and sister. now, why must we end to be a lover and then enemy ? why ? TELL ME? ): i tot we could last , like the other couples out there, but then , i realise, guys hurt gerls very deep huh? when i think all this problem , i remember of my last tyme ex, his name is hakim. i still remember that i be with hym for 1 year 8 months 5 days. then we end the relationship coz im gg to change school. why cant i have a guy like my this ex whu can last very long ? why must we break up & patch back & so on ? WHY ? i dont understand boys. like i said, love doesnt walk away , people do. even he say that he wanna break up, he just playing around. but if you be me , you would knw how hurt your boyfriend tell you those kind of thing. obviously you would feel sad & angry right ? same do i. i feel neglected all this while. our 1 month is on this sunday, and we end just yesterday. why ? boyy, i dont wanna cry again. bare that in mind. i miss you so much that you wouldnt knw. maybe cat's right, i should move on with my single life and make my life peace without boys. i should. i hate to be hurt over and over again. & huda say, she miss the day when she saw us being together. but what should i do ? this is the only way that i think is the best for the both of us. i knw he can move on, from now onwards. without me. ): remember , if you wanna me enemy with me , im fine with it. but please, dun ignore every single one of my friends. they feel hurt too. ):

huda , thnks for the song that you recommend to me. i heard this song before , like i never heard it now. its been a long tyme alr i never this song. & she say this so referring to me. is it true ? maybe. ):

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